Sunday, April 3, 2011

Day eight...

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.
I think I am holding a gun of some sort, and wearing a weird outfit and an equally weird grin, while my brother has a look of absolute confusion on his face.  Awesome little kid shot.

The picture below, of Peach all dressed up, makes me laugh, too.  So precious!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Day seven...

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.

My most treasured items are my wedding ring and my mother's wedding ring.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Day six...

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

There is not a specific person I'd like to trade places with.  I don't want to be famous or rich or glamorous or anything else than who I am.  I would just like to have a day to relax at the beach without thinking of anyone else other than myself.  Oh, and the beach would have beautiful clear blue-green water and white sand, and the sun would warm and rejuvenate my pale, vitamin-D deprived skin.
I also wouldn't mind getting a looooong massage while I'm there at that beach.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Day five...

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.

Oh, how awful my memory is. I don't know if it's because of the car accident that my family suffered when I was nine that somehow I have very little memory of my childhood, or if it's just that I have a poor memory. Maybe it's a combination of both.  Mister and I can have conversations about events we both attended -- like our first dates or concerts we saw or other things that should have stayed with me -- and I have no recollection of them.  It's kind of disturbing, really.  I think that's why I take so many pictures; with those images, I can recall things that happened but would have likely slipped out of my porous mind.  But even with that holey memory and my penchant for taking photos, my favorite memory doesn't have a picture.  It happened when I was a little girl, and it's probably an amalgam of events that became layered on top of one another to create this memory.

I lived in a white house that was almost a ranch-style, but had my parents' bedroom up a long flight of stairs above the garage.  It was all one level towards the street, but the back yard was considerably below the back of the house.  Our kitchen had a window that looked out on the back yard, and our dinette had a sliding glass door that led to our big green deck and its set of stairs that led down to a concrete pad that sat on the edge of the big yard.  Both the front and back yards were good sized, but the back yard was a wonder.  There were huge willow trees that grew at the edge of a seasonal, rain-induced creek (okay, it was probably considered a drainage ditch, but I thought of it as a creek).  When it rained, which is did a lot, since I grew up in Oregon, the creek would fill with rain and my brother and I would go down to the creek and search for frogs, which was a futile exercise.  On one side of our property were thick grapevines that grew enormous grapes.  On the other side of our property were some gorgeous rhododendrens my mother had planted in her flower beds.  And beyond the creek was a huge grassy hill, owned by the old neighbor couple who lived in the yellow house.  On summer days when the grass had been recently cut and the clippings had turned yellow, my brother and I would race each other to the bottom of the hill, but not by running -- by log-rolling down the decline.  Our clothes would be covered in grass and the dried debris would stick in to our clothes, and then in to our skin.  All the pokiness and dirtiness didn't decrease the fun we had.  Even the bruises were worth it.  But that's not my favorite memory.

My mother was an amazing cook, but an even better baker.  She grew up with a master chef for a mother.  Grandma Sallie was a resourceful woman who raised seven children on the best home cooking around.  Mom's cousins still talk about what a wonderful cook Grandma was.  My cousins and I recall the most delicious green beans we've ever tasted, the homemade biscuits, the desserts that rot my teeth just thinking about them, and all the other bounty she prepared for us all.  My mom had a great teacher.  She also had an enormous sweet tooth (I blame mine on her!).  I was so impressed that she had the recipe for chocolate chip cookies memorized and she never had to look it up on a card or in a book.  We'd often make them together.  My favorite part was after she put the chocolate chips in, she'd make me check the bag to see if she'd gotten them all in the bowl.  Of course, she'd left two or three in the bag -- just for me to eat.  But that's not my favorite memory, either.

I remember myself, in the gray Oregon drizzle, searching for frogs in the creek, walking in between the willow trees.  I look up and I see Mom in the kitchen window.  And I know she's making chocolate chip cookies for me.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Day four...

A picture of your favorite night.

Me and Mister on the night we got engaged.

We were on the beach in Cabo San Lucas, the first night we were there, I think.  We were having dinner at the resort's outdoor restaurant, listening to a jazz quartet when Mister told me he had to "go to the bathroom."  A very unromantic ten minutes later -- I was sure he was sick with some sort of gastrointestinal virus -- he came back with a ring, a nervous stomach, and a question to ask.  He waited until we took a walk along the beach, and on the sand and under the moonlight, he asked me to marry him.  Life changed that night.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Day three...

A picture of the cast of your favorite show.

I don't know if I have a favorite TV show right now.  There are several that I find entertaining, but I could probably live without them all.  After PM was born, we got rid of expanded cable in the interest of saving money and keeping us from wasting time in front of the television, especially since we don't really want our kids addicted to TV like we are and were as children.  But now, instead of TV, we are addicted to being online, which is just as awful or worse, since now we don't have a shared experience of watching the same show -- we're just in the same room looking at different screens.

But, with that said, I've been enjoying the comedy of Modern Family a lot because the characters are genuinely nice people with good hearts.  They love each other and can be silly, but they're not intentionally malicious, which is something I just cannot stomach.  The same can be said about Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother.

I also like 30 Rock, which is quite satirical and although some of the dialogue can be construed as malicious, it seems like the characters actually care about each other and look out for each other; it also contains some of the best lines I've heard in ages.  My absolute favorite is from Kenneth: "I feel about as useless as a mom's college degree."

But I guess my favorite show of late is Word World.  I mean, it's a cartoon about words!  What could be better than that?

Monday, March 28, 2011

Day two...

A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.

My brother and I disagree about our relationship when we were growing up.  I say we always fought, and he denies ever being an antagonist.  We didn't get along very well from the time he entered middle school until he graduated high school and moved out of the house.  From that point on, we built a strong friendship.  I can now count on him to listen to my baloney and not-so-baloney problems and I am there for him, in return.  He can make me smile and also make me frustrated, but I am always glad that he's my big brother and my friend.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Day one...

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.
1. I love diet soda.  I know I shouldn't, but I really, really do.

2. I prefer cats to dogs, and I tolerate our dog, Daisy, because she means something (I'm not sure what) to Mister.  She loves me more than she loves Mister, probably because I feed her. 

3. I dislike most pictures of myself.

4. I don't ever get enough sleep.  But considering I have a newborn around the house, this makes perfect sense.

5. I want to improve my photography skills, and I like to practice on my children.

6. The first rated R movie I saw in the theaters was Stripes, when I was five.

7. I got my ears pierced when I was 13.

8. My favorite book is To Kill A Mockingbird.

9. I ought to read more than I do, considering I'm an English teacher. But it takes so much energy and focus that I just don't have.

10. My mother became a paraplegic when I was 9, and when she was 38.  She died from AIDS related illnesses when she was 49, and I was 20.

11. When I was growing up, I spent summers with my mother's family at our family homeplace in a holler in the hills of southwest Virginia.

12. I am notoriously unorganized and messy.

13. I enjoy loading the dishwasher, but I detest unloading the dishwasher.

14. I would love to see more of the world, but I find air travel repulsive, so I'm not excited about planning any trips.

15. Traveling across the U.S. with a pop-up trailer with Mister for our honeymoon was one of the coolest things I've done.

Thirty days

In interest in reflecting upon my life and getting in touch with the things that make me happy, I've swiped this "exercise," if you will, from a friend's blog.  We'll see how it goes...

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.
Day 04 - A picture of your favorite night.
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.
Day 12 - A picture of something you love.
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.
Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.
Day 25 - A picture of your day.
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.

Contemplative

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Reflection

Reflecting takes a lot of energy.  I've found other outlets for that energy in the past, and I suppose I could find other outlets for it now and in the future, but I'm forcing (is that the right word?) myself to put my energies in reflecting on my life, what is important to me, and what I want from all the opportunities that are in front of me.

I never imagined I'd be in the place I am right now.  No, not typing on a lovely MacBook while waiting for my facial masque to dry.  I didn't imagine I'd be a teacher (are you kidding?  Never!), married to a wonderful man (do I deserve such a great fellow?), and the mother of two amazing children (oh, how I wanted kids, but would I ever be blessed?).  I'm lucky.  My life didn't turn out the way I thought it would, but I'm glad the world has guided me to the rocking chair I currently sit in.

I have everything I could possibly want, and I still struggle to find meaning and purpose.  Am I supposed to be a full-time teacher?  Or a full-time mom?  Can I do either well in a full-time fashion? Can I do either well in a half-time fashion?  I know I'm too hard on myself and I know I dwell in the "what ifs" and apocalyptic scenarios too much.  I know I remember the bad things I've done or feel guilty for and I rarely celebrate the things I've done right and what I've accomplished.  Maybe this blog needs to be more about celebrations, accomplishments, and things gone right.  Maybe I need to reflect on the good stuff and have that reflect back at me -- maybe then I can see the meaning and purpose to my life.

Reflection one:

I married my Mister.  Awesome decision.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Repurposing

In the week before my mother passed away, she had one last conversation with her sister.  My mother had been suffering from dementia, and her moments of lucidity began slipping away from us; she had her good days, where she was with us completely, and bad days, where she was back in her childhood or some other far away place where we couldn't reach her.  In that conversation, she was able to stay in the moment, and when my aunt asked her, "Is today a good day?" my mother responded, "Any day the sun shines is a good day."

I love that.  She knew her life was quickly coming to an end and she could still find something to celebrate.  She knew that every single day was something special.  Regardless of her dementia, regardless of her paraplegia, regardless of how completely ravaged her body was from her disease, regardless of the knowledge she would soon leave her family, every day that she got to see the sun shine was a good day.

So.  In the darkest days, in the happiest moments, in the challenging instances, and in every average day, we all have something to celebrate: we get to see another day.  We get to see the sun shine.

When I first established this blog, it was to explore my love for photography and to link to the website iheartfaces.com.  That is where the titles for most posts come from -- and there is supposed to be a photo that connects in some way to that title, preferably with a face in the picture.  But now I am repurposing this blog to fit my needs and desires at this point in my life; I want to reflect, consider, document, and celebrate my life and this is a forum to do so.